Reflecting on being 34

Tonight I am on my final day in the first half of my thirties, and there is the likelihood that by the time you read this I will be not only closer to forty than I am thirty, but also nearer fifty than I am twenty, which is a crazy thought. So I have spent my final day before I consider myself to be entering middle-aged reflecting on my youth, well, I say that, the last twelve months.

Firstly, a song…..

So yeah, let’s start with the positives of life since turning thirty-four last September and the obvious one is that I completed my transition from male to female. Today also happens to mark eleven months since I had my operation, and yet that definitely doesn’t seem real. I’m not really going to focus on that too much as I don’t want this post to go over the same points I’ve spoken about over the last year. The loan for the operation is hanging over me still, with there still being forty-five months to run on my £252 a month loan, the positive to take out of it is that with fifteen months gone, I am now 1/4 of the way through paying it, and will be 1/3 in three or so months.

The plan after it is paid off is to look into getting facial feminisation surgery. I’m very conscious that I still look male, despite not being anymore. I’m not even saying that I am expecting something unrealistic, but at least something remotely more feminine would be great. I did almost do it right at the beginning of the transition, but decided against it at the time because I didn’t see the benefits. Either way, there’s no point worrying about it until mid-2023.

Immediately following my op in October ’18

Aside from that, I achieved a life goal of moving abroad, specifically to Portugal. Again, this is something I have spoken about numerous times, so I’m going to gloss over it, but to achieve a life goal of living in another country is something that I am proud of. Infact, this year was actually a big one in terms of achieving life goals as I also took steps to learn a new language, Portuguese in this case. Obviously, it helps to speak the language when you move to another country, so I’ve been learning Portuguese by using Duolingo. It is going fairly well, I’m focusing more on how to read and understand the language because I’m struggling to say the words. Damn minor-lisp.

I don’t think the adventure in Portugal will last much longer. I arrived back in the UK last week to celebrate my birthday and spoke to a friend about a job. I haven’t heard anything since, but I did have an interview a few days ago that went well, and I have another lined up for a company in London on Friday. I have nothing against Portugal, it’s a nice enough place, but there are a few other factors that make me want to leave, which I can’t really mention at the moment.

Obviously, Lincoln City got promoted last season and I actually got to see the promotion this time after I was working during the one in 2017, so yet another first for me this year.

All of that being said, this was far from a perfect year. In late-May/early-June I had a mental health breakdown, reflecting over several past events that I had never really confronted properly before. It took me a few weeks and the help of some friends to get over it. I also got closure on one of the two main events over the last few days by confronting it head-on.

I am also disappointed how my time at Empire Cinemas in High Wycombe ended. I won’t go too far into why I quit, but let me put it this way, there are more snakes there than in the movie “Anaconda”.

So those were some of the main highlights and lowlights of my year of being 34, so here is to being thirty-five and entering middle-aged 🙂 I am not sure what to expect from the next few years and will probably wait to see what happens with these job interviews. Hopefully, I will be sat here in five years and the loan has been paid off, and also with a more feminine face.

I’m going to end with another song 🙂

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