I logged onto WordPress yesterday to write a film review for the other site I run on here and there was a notification waiting for me. Naturally I thought it was a just a “someone likes your post” notification, but it turned out that it was letting me know that it had been a year since I joined the site and I have spent the time since reflecting on the last year.
So, before I start, here is a song…..
So let’s start with what brings most people to the site and that is my change of gender (seriously, that’s where most of my traffic comes from as it automatically feeds into that contains all blogs of transgenders individuals). Now, some of you might be reading my blog for the first time so I’ll give you a little bit of a background. Until just under 3 years ago, I was known as Nathan, but at the age of 27 I came out to all my friends and family that I wanted to be female and I started the process of changing to a woman.
In the last year or so the changes have been pretty minor. I have six months to go until I can be considered for surgery as that’s when the effects of the hormones will reach their final point, similar to when a natural girl reaches the end of puberty and no longer develops.
Over the last year the changes have been as you would expect really. My hair continues to grow at a considerably increased rate and my breasts have increased to a moderate size. I’m not going to sit here and lie by saying that they’re huge or indeed the size I would want them to be, but either way, it’s better than the flat chest that I had for the first 28 and a bit years of my life (I didn’t start hormones until December 2012).
My voice still remains the same as voice therapy failed miserably. I was put forward for surgery to make it higher to the point where it would sound like an effeminate man’s voice, or a deep female voice, but as I have to pay for it I might do it after the final surgery. The voice isn’t an urgent thing for me anyway.
In terms of friends I think this is the first time time in a long time where none of my friendships have ended through an argument. I could be wrong but I’m pretty certain that every friendship over the last twelve months that has ended has been because of just general drifting apart. Some of the people who I worked with at BT for example, I got on really well with them but haven’t really spoken to some of them since.
I’m not going to talk about work, even though I really want to heavily criticise Apex Health and Social Care and put across how horrible they are to work for, but I’d end up making myself angry.
Finally, in September I turned 30 and if you go far enough back in this blog then you will find me talking about my goals for during my 30s. Well I have started losing weight after initially finding myself going up to 20 st 13. At the time of writing I am roughly 19 st 3-5, depending on how my scales are feeling at the time, and I feel much better.
This decrease in weight was due to several factors, including going to the gym on a regular basis and signing up for professional wrestling training. Yes, you’ve just read that right. I have signed up to train to be a wrestler and looking through the internet, I am one of the first transgendered wrestlers in the UK. I’m not the first, but I do seem to be either the second or third, it was a bit vague, but either way that’s cool.
At the time of writing I’ve only been to two training sessions and I love it. I feel ridiculously sore and I was struggling to get up off of the couch yesterday, but it’s worth it. I’m loving trying something new and given that I’ve been into wrestling since I was about 8 years old, it’s a great opportunity to try something that I am passionate about.
I’m not going to lie, it is hard work and I am constantly nervous about unintentionally injuring someone, especially as I will more than likely have a high-hitting style of wrestling, including powerbombs, suplexs and several other high impact moves. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to do other stuff as well, but for my body shape, size and lack of agility, I can’t really be doing Jeff Hardy style flips.
Sunday’s session was mainly about developing the character and I’m definitely going heel (a character that is unlikable) and whilst I don’t have the idea fully worked out, it will basically be me being an arsehole. I know some people will say that’s not a character and it’s just me in general, but they say that the best characters in wrestling are the ones that are your normal personality turned up to 10.
The below will be my entrance music.
The biggest challenge for me really is choosing what to do with regards to be transgender. The guys to run the sessions have been awesome with it, as have the other guys who are training but I am unsure whether to incorporate being transgender into the character.
There are parts of me that want to embrace it within the character as it’s who I am, and I would love to have the platform to be able to be myself and do what I love. My only concern really is that I am still built like a male and I can wear as many feminine clothes as I want, effectively show all of my breasts with the exception of the nipple (it is a family show afterall), but I will still be considerable bigger than the other girls.
I could easily go against the men and compete on that level because it’d be physically matched, but for me it would feel a bit odd that I have gone through the process of becoming a girl and yet I am still competing with the men.
Fortunately I still have a long time to think about it and gather the opinions of the people I am wrestling with. Maybe I could just go with the gimmick that even though I am now a girl (well, almost), I can still kick anyone’s arse from either gender.
Anyway, I’m going to leave it there. Below is a picture from the training session on Sunday afternoon and I am just noticeable. If you look at the girl and the guy with white shorts/blue t-shirt on, you can see my head inbetween them.